We are concluding our exploration of the King Archetype as discussed in “King, Warrior, Magician, Lover.”

When talking about “Accessing the King,” (pp 70-73) the authors stress the importance of keeping our Ego out the way of the King’s manifestation. They invite us into a position that is actually in service of this archetype. Our submission to this King that resides within ourselves is what allows us to embody the archetype. It allows being in service to those around us.

The authors help us see the dangers of over-identifying with this archetype, the danger of becoming a tyrant. And they also point to the danger of becoming weaklings. And the danger of outsourcing the role of King to some person outside of our ourselves.

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Happy New Year Brothers.

Let’s take advantage of the power that comes with starting a new year. Our collective consciousness is turning towards the new. There is refreshing energy in the air.

A man should have an aim. A purpose. A direction for his development and growth. A sense of what he is here to do. To contribute. To serve.

How are we doing on the journey to becoming better men?

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A man should have a vision and a purpose. He should know what he aims for. And he should be skilled at the practice of reflection. He should know where he is going. But he should never lose sight that it is the present that matters.

We are growing. And we are helping each other to grow.

Let’s make our next meeting, January 3 at 8:30PM East, an opportunity to reflect on where we’ve been.

Let’s reflect on the essential lessons of 2021, the ones we are going to integrate and make part of our lives.

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I hate linking you to an article behind a paywall. But I find this one to be really important for our conversation. Liza Featherstone wrote a piece called “Josh Hawley and the Republican Obsession With Manliness.” My values are clear, but I’m not trying to get into partisan stuff here. Partisanship distracts our attention from the work that truly matters.

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We are getting into some deep ground here. The last time we came together we experienced the “King” that dwells within. It was a powerful experience of blessing and being blessed.

Now it’s time to face the tyrant. The shadow side of our masculine power.

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This month, in our slow reading of of “King, Warrior, Magician, Lover,” we’ve been contemplating “The Two Functions of the King in His Fullness”

The first responsibility of the King is to live according to what is right. The role of the King is to embody order in his own person first. The societal contribution comes second.

It is by living in righteousness that we allow righteousness to flourish.

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We are diving more deeply into our study of the King archetype as we continue our slow reading of “King, Warrior, Magician, Lover.” This month we are focusing on “The Two Functions of the King in His Fullness.”

I am moved by their idea that we can bless others. That “being blessed has tremendous psychological consequences for us.” That “there are even studies that show that our bodies actually change chemically when we feel valued, praised and blessed.”

What happens to you when you begin to consider that you are capable of blessing others?

How do you make others feel valued?

How do you praise?

To embody the archetype of King is to look upon the world firmly but also kindly. “To see others in all their weakness and in all their talent and worth.”

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Our call is tonight at 8:30PM East. I am looking forward to being with you. We are starting to read a reflection of the King as archetype. (pages 49 to 52 of King, Warrior, Magician, Lover). And it has me thinking about Self Sovereignty.

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Overthrowing the King is at the very heart of the American ethos. We elect our leaders. A passion for democracy, especially for a true democracy, something more authentic than what the USA has on offer, is at the heart of an ethos that wants plurality and inclusion. This is good. This is very good.

But it can complicate our relationship to the King as an archetype. I have no interest in the sort of kings that rule nations. But I am quite interested in the King that can bring order to the heart of my inner realm.

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We have been reflecting on what it means to take responsibility even for what we’re not responsible for. We did not choose to be born into a culture that fails to initiate us into conscious masculinity. We are certainly not responsible for childhood traumas or anything that got us stuck at immature levels of masculinity.

But it is still our work to do. The work of becoming better men is the work of taking responsibility for ourselves, our community and the culture we were born into.

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Thank you for doing the work of becoming better men. The author’s of “King, Warrior, Magician, Lover” open the section on man psychology by asserting that: “Man psychology... has perhaps always been a rare thing on our planet. It is certainly a rare thing today.”

If by man psychology they are referring to conscious masculinity, then I certainly agree with them, at least when they are talking about our day.

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It is always easy at times like these to project all fault onto the avatar that falls. But it behooves us to consider how much of Cuomo is part of ourselves. I don’t think anyone on this list has accumulated anywhere near the amount of power that Cuomo must now do without. But #metoo is not only about tumbling avatars and our rituals of collective catharsis. #MeToo s about you and about me.

We launched this Better Men Project soon after #MeToo broke out. It is a project of atonement. An act of radical responsibility. It is important to note that the Governor of New York was advancing feminist public policy even as he was enacting patriarchy in his professional life. He is not the only one that stands divided.

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I know that I launched the Better Men Project because I have been possessed by patriarchy. I have caused harm, and this is part of my project of atonement.

We are looking at the transition from boy psychology to man psychology. The transition comes with the death of the hero:

The “death” of the Hero is the “death” of boyhood, of Boy psychology. And it is the birth of manhood and Man psychology. The “death” of the Hero in the life of a boy (or a man) really means that he has finally encountered his limitations. He has met the enemy, and the enemy is himself. He has met his own dark side, his very unheroic side. He has fought the dragon and been burned by it; he has fought the revolution and drunk the dregs of his own inhumanity... The “death” of the Hero signals a boy’s or man’s encounter with true humility.

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I am a big proponent of mythos. Myth is how we structure both meaning and belonging. It is how we aim to answer the deepest questions of our humanity. As someone that cares so much about myth, it was a revelation to learn that the archetype of the hero is still part of boy psychology. That we need to embody the hero. But then we need to grow beyond him.

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When we release our own mortal, fallible mother from the burden of being the Divine Mother, from being the Great Mother, we open ourselves to a new depth of spirituality. We begin to experience a sense of deep-relatedness with life itself. It changes how we walk upon the earth. And it certainly transforms how we relate to the women in our lives.

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Let’s talk about the Mother. Let’s talk about our relationship with our mothers, and how it has defined our masculinity. Present or absent? Healthy, unhealthy or a little bit of both?

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Why not start by doing good things. No need to think too much about it. Just find ways to do good things. They can be small things at first. Small, unrequested favors. Lending someone a hand or an ear. Showing up well to a project or a team. Lifting up the energy in a room with a good heart and a kind smile. Going out of your way, over and over again, building a practice of selflessness.

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Our call is tonight. Be reminded that even though we are slowly working our way through a shared text, we do welcome newcomers to any of our calls.

There is a wisdom that lives inside us. An inner knowing that becomes available when we are grounded, anchored in our authentic Self. We can cultivate trust in our own intuition and learn to be guided by the courageous wisdom that resides in our bodies.

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You can’t engage men’s work without thinking about mansplaining. What is it about us that wants to act like a “know it all?” What is it that we are performing? What is it that we are trying project?

As we continue our study of “King, Warrior, Magician, Lover” we look into the archetype of the “Precocious Child.” The curious part of us. The part that is eager to learn and to generously share what we are learning. The part that may mature into a magician.

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