The Art of Fulfillment


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A new year is around the corner and most of us are thinking about what we want to achieve in 2018. But achievement and fulfillment need to be practiced together.

I can get caught up in the quest for achievement. This has been especially true this year. We launched new initiatives like the Better Men Project, the Mastermind Group, and our Couple’s Work. We want to grow our work and reach new audiences. It has been exhilarating.

The drive to grow and to achieve needs to be tempered. It is a good thing. But it comes with a trap. It can lead us to postpone fulfillment. It can lead us to believe that we will only be fulfilled when we achieve the goals we are seeking. This is a dangerous mind trick.

Somewhere between Tara Brach’s Radical Acceptance and the wild work of Tony Robbins, I have come to understand how important it is to balance the Science of Achievement with the Art of Fulfillment.

We need to grow. To stop growing is to start dying. But the quest for achievement is not always about growth. It often is about wanting to become whole. It can be fueled by the idea that we are somehow not enough, and that happiness can only be found at some point in the future, when we become worthy of it. This is wrong.

If we don’t practice fulfillment today, we will not have fulfillment tomorrow.

You can achieve the highest of goals and still feel a hole in your heart. You can feel good for a day, or a month, but definitely not very long. If you neglect your inherent wholeness you will never be fulfilled, no matter what you achieve.

I’m going to keep driving. We are building something exciting here. This work is meant to grow and we have new audiences to reach. But I will not neglect fulfillment. I will not fall for the logic of postponement.

My commitment for 2018 is to practice the Art of Fulfillment. And to share my learnings with you. I’m going to experiment with practices, tools and the power of focused attention.

We know some things about fulfillment. We know that gratitude is essential, and that fulfillment comes when we get out of “me, me, me” and step clearly into the “we.” We know that fulfillment comes with generosity of spirit, with appreciation, connection, belonging, and a cultivated sense of wholeness. All of these can be learned. All of these can be practiced.

I want to bring you into this exploration. I invite you to practice with me, to share tools, and to join me in the process of getting good at fulfillment. Join me. You are whole.

Ready for our first exercise in fulfillment?