You can facilitate to get through an agenda. Or you can facilitate to make change happen. If you want things to change you have to go beyond the surface. You must take a dive. This work demands depth.

My friends Tuesday and Tim are awesome facilitators doing work together as The Outside. Their podcast is an inside look into this work. And I found their recent episode of Depth to be specially on point.

I wonder about the men who are out there, needing to be held. Devoid of true friendship with other men. Needing to learn to love themselves. I wonder how much of Patriarchy's thirst for power and domination could be quelled by fulfilling this basic human need? How much more emotionally present could men be if we allowed ourselves this medicine?

I always say I am committed to doing work that changes everything. So when I choose to work with an organization I want it to mean more than facilitating a one-off event that feels good in the moment but loses momentum as soon as you get back to work. I’m want to facilitate a lasting evolution.

If you work within even a basic hierarchy. If an individual or a team has a higher pay, or if they have any say about whether someone else gets paid, that responsibility demands clarity and leadership cohesion. It demands courage and truth. Do this first. Keep coming back to it. This is how you lead.

Information is a shiny object. It used to be scarce. It used to mean power. So we sought it. And we hoarded it. We exchanged it with care and discrimination. We offered it with purpose.

Today we are drowning in information. But that doesn’t make it less titillating. So we keep consuming it. We keep trying to drink from the firehose. We think we’ll make sense of it later. We take, we read, we watch, we share, we click. But the flood is actually endless.

Interviews for the Better Men Project confirm that many of us want to do better. It is also clear that we do not always know how to. We know how to be better than Weinstein or Cosby. Some of us have learned tough lessons about the impact of our own behavior.

But being a good man has to mean more than "don't be bad."

What do Google, Apple, Amazon, Facebook and Youtube have in common?

• They are all platform businesses

• They hoard an unprecedented amount of humanity’s resources

• They exist to extract your attention

You are what they mine

I'm just getting back from Burning Man. And it was everything.

It is a modern day pilgrimage. It is ritual. And it is the biggest party you've ever seen. It is an impossible thing. It is a miracle. It is a life giving intersection of the sacred and the profane.

It is mundane drudgery and dusty discomfort. It is an ocean of unexamined whiteness and privilege. It is very far from sustainable. And I'm also sure that it is all kinds of unsafe.

There will be moments when good people who care for justice and the planet will be able to pass national policies that may have an impact on our collective destiny. But any and all hope for long-term survival is to be found locally, in relationship to each other, learning and experimenting together. Depending on one another.

For 21 days a group of us endeavored to build and hold a morning routine. Win the morning, win the day! We supported each other using a set of tools. But the process was held together by a simple rule: if I fail to keep my commitment, everyone in my group has to pay.

We are social animals. We don’t want to let each other down. And we certainly don’t want to be the cause of someone else's punishment.

The tool worked like a charm.