The Better Men Project

Masculinity and patriarchy are closely connected, but they are not the same. There is such a thing as conscious masculinity. Men can be masculine and true to our nature in ways that actually serve society.

What is it that we have to learn in order to make this a culture that is safe for women?

I myself am a straight, cis man. And my central concern is with the harm that men like me are doing to women - simply because that’s what I am, it is what I know, and so it is the best place for me to start.

You can read about our work below, we host a men’s call the first Monday of every month.

If this speaks to you, please sign up below.

You are welcomed to join our monthly calls. We ask that you read adrienne maree brown’s relinquishing the patriarchy as well as these touchstones


We are trying something new in 2021.

Since May 2019 we have been anchored by adrienne maree brown’s text: Relinquishing the Patriarchy. We wrapped up 2020 with a set of reflections on Brené Brown’s Strong Backs, Soft Fronts and Wild Hearts.

This year we are working through the Jungian classic “King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine by Robert Moore and Douglas Gillette. The book is 30 years old. It is a dated text. We are going to dig in, learn what there is to learn, and seek ways to update what needs to be updated for our practice.

Reflecting on the power of this text, Andrew Gurevich explains that:

mature masculinity is not abusive or domineering, but generative, creative, and empowering of the self and others. The authors use mythology, archetypes and ritual to make a clear distinction between immature, toxic expressions of masculinity and the potential emergence of the healthy, mature, nurturing form.

This effort to become better men is not about ideas and ideology. It is not about enacting the tropes of performative wokeness. This is the work of being and becoming. It is a practice. It demands that men come together, turn to one another and take responsibility. This is primal work. And it calls for the sort of mythopoetic engagement that the book invites.

Tell your friends about it. This is the Better Men Project in 2021. And it is going to be great.